Delete It All And Try Again

I take it all back

Everything I’ve said

Every word I’ve ever written

Everything I’ve ever believed in

And everything that I claimed to be

I take it all back

That wasn’t really me

I didn’t know anything

I was simply

A bitter quitter who found a voice 

It was always my choice 

A child writing about love

A teenager praying to a god above 

A curious mind, bored, with too much free time

Too broken to see his shine

What did I know?

What the hell did I know??

Nothing. I knew nothing. 

That angry guy who would get high and bleed on the keys, he isn’t me. 

The lovestruck dumbfuck who would get drunk and close his eyes while driving his truck down the highway going 95 . . . yeah, that guy is barely alive. 

I wrote about love when I had no idea what love was. 

I wrote about meaning without knowing anything about living. 

I wrote about change and it almost made me stuck in my ways.

I raged against dogma and then stumbled into a giant pile of it. 

When I thought I was a fighter, I was actually a writer.

And when I thought I was a writer, I should’ve been a fighter. 

So I’ll take this bic lighter

And set myself on fire

Because I cannot fucking stand being turned into a liar . . .

Sit back and watch the show

A boy burns his soul

Because he hated the way it tasted

When he ate it

In his fading dream in a dream 

He’ll dance

And scream

This time he’ll do more than pretend to bleed into the keys 

This time he knows what he is

And what he should be

This time around he knows what love is

Because he finally did it

He was finally brave enough to fall madly in love with the best lady he’s ever met 

But 

For me 

I never get love

Without tragedy 

A little taste of love

Chased with a shot of pain

My life will never be the same

My life, since I met her, has never been the same

Let’s see 

what kind of muse 

true love brings me.

-CH 8/8/25