Day 4

Day 4 

I am back in Oregon,

And nothing feels right.

It feels like I am trapped in a bad dream.

Everything here is exactly the same,

Just slightly different—not quite right. 

The colors are off. 

The noises have new frequencies. 

The smells are wonky. 

Even the house felt strange to walk into, like things were out of place. 

My brother having a normal conversation with me feels weird.

Nothing is normal.

Nothing is fine.

Nothing is alright. 

She’s not coming back.

We are done.

Probably done forever. 

Today will be the first day that we won’t talk.

And that’s okay.

. . . That should be okay.

It’s me that’s pulling away.

It’s me that’s

fading 

away.

I can’t help it,

I’m hurting. 

I’m drowning. 

I’m just trying to stay alive.

So, 

I’ll cut ties

to stay alive. 

That's all I can do. 

I’ll fade away,

And live for another day. 

CH 12/17/25