Cannon Events

They say that there are five events that every boy goes through in order to become a man. Let’s see if there’s any truth to that. 

The first event is obvious, getting cheated on by the woman you love . . . That checks out.

      The second event is realizing you aren’t going pro in the sport that you play. 

         The third is the second love theory. If you know you know. I won’t explain it here. I’m too lazy to get into it right now. And I hate those ‘love theories’. 

           The fourth event is the young man’s friend group falling apart.

              And the fifth one is when everything he once loved to do no longer brings him any joy.

. . . Yeah, that all sounds about right to me.

Maybe it is true that most men go through these events at some point.

Maybe it’s all a part of life.

It might be 'true-ish'.

But, I suppose it's how we react to these things that matters the most. That’s how we’re different, isn’t it? . . .

We aren’t all the same man, but what most of us go through appears to be bizarrely similar. And as men, we must eat these things and never talk about them to women—not unless you're a poet, then you're free to complain about anything you want to. 

. . . Don’t become a poet. 

I already called dibs.

-CH 4/9/25