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I can still smell her on my fingers

As I eat my bagel

I probably should’ve showered

Before heading to this coffee shop

To pull something out

But I didn’t

I don’t lose my appetite

Smelling her

And I happily eat my bagel and sip my coffee

I’ll go wash my hands in a minute

She was another squirter

I don’t know how they all find me

These squirter's, that is

They track me down

Slide in my DM’s

And before I know it

There’s a giant mess on her bed

They never tell you

These squirter’s

That they squirt

They seem to enjoy the reaction

When it happens

They like the surprise

I’m glad none of it is in my beard

Imagine the smell

If my face had spent time down there ??

I probably would’ve showered then

A mom

And her two little girls sit next me

And I feel weird about writing this

But they’ll never read it


This squirter was another one that liked my writing

It hasn’t made me any money yet

But it’s definitely gotten me laid

It’d be cool if it did more than that though…

I don’t fully understand the attraction to an unsuccessful and emotionally unavailable wannabe writer

But they like to say that I am funny

and deep

And that my mind is interesting

And of course I want to fuck everyone that says my mind is interesting

Wouldn’t you??



That’s just me then.


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