All I Will Do

Look me in the eyes

And tell me you don’t feel it too

Tell me the truth

Am I really nothing to you?

Just another dude on your roster this week?

Just another play thing?

I know you’re hurting

And I know that you want to be seen

I know you want to be validated 

And not hated

I know he crushed you

And that you blame men

That deep within

Your inner kid 

Is afraid

And I can’t really blame you

Because I am still learning how to be brave too

I still believe that falling in love is the scariest thing there is

I wish I was different

I wish I didn’t care

I wish I was aware of how crazy I am

But this is how it is

I’ve tried to change

I thought I was different

But I am right back where I was

Right back here with you

Feeling too much

Feeling overwhelmed

And I can’t let it out

It’s trapped under my skin

It boils in my belly with all my sin

This is not a Taylor Swift song

This is a weak man attempting to be strong

Besides

Taylor has made me a member of the Tortured Poets Department

Because her and I are the same

Except she can sing a little better than I can

And she has long’ legs

And her and I would just turn you into our muse

Oh

I’ve already done that . . .

So maybe this should be a wrap?

Maybe we shouldn’t come back?

If you were my muse

And I was something you were used to

We’d implode

We’d build a home

Just to be alone

I can’t keep checking my phone

Hoping to see your name on my screen

I feel your magic

And I don’t know what it means

Somehow you already feel nostalgic . . .

I feel the synchronicity 

And it stirs inside of me

And it rages through the world outside of my eyes

And echoes through all of space/time

I’m always a little lost in my mind

And I’ve felt overwhelmed so many times . . .

I told you that love felt like chaos to me,

And you agreed . . . 

You know what those words really mean to me.

So,

I’d bleed 

So you could feel seen.

I’d fight,

So you could feel alright.

I’d write a thousand songs for you,

All while knowing I’ll lose you in the end . . .

You want the moon?

I know him,

And I’ll steal him for you.

You want the sun?

I’d pluck her shine out of the sky before I die.

You want a star?

I’d fly into the expanding infinite 

And search for the perfect star for you;

It might take some time,

But I’d bring one home to you.

You don’t want to die?

I know the reaper,

He’s a good friend,

We get drinks together on Sundays,

And I’d keep him hunting me for all of eternity,

Just so you can live to be thirty.

You want great sex?

Well, Babe, buckle up,

Brace yourself,

Bite your lip,

And squeeze the sheets.

I know that I don’t need you.

I know I’ll be fine.

I have things to do.

I have the life that I choose.

I have my dreams

And my goals.

It’s only . . . I felt ready to start a home.

But not now;

Not anymore;

I’ll hibernate for the winter,

And ask a God—not you—for forgiveness,

See if there is one out there that’ll listen.

I’ll write another book

And listen to your music.

And that’s it,

That’s all I will do;

I’ll stay in my head as I lay in my bed,

And I’ll dream of you. 

Yeah . . . that’s all I’ll do.

CH 11/22/24