Addicted

I can’t even get drunk enough to text you. 

Even drunk me knows it’s a bad idea. 

I’d like to drink enough to be free. 

And if I could smoke enough,

Then maybe,

I’d feel numb;

And if I drink enough after that,

Maybe, I'll be dumb enough

To call you,

Like I used to.

And maybe if I sleep enough,

Time will continue to pass,

And I’ll wake up one day and feel okay.

I wonder how drunk I have to be to text you?

How high do I have to be for you to see me?

. . . This doesn’t make any sense, does it?

I suppose you are the real drug here,

And I am going through withdrawals. 

I have the shakes.

I have the cravings. 

My head throbs.

My bones break. 

My heart pounds. 

My blood boils in my veins. 

All because of you. 

Internally:

I break;

I burn; 

I bleed. 

And it repeats.

You are the only drug I need. 

I’d give everything else up for one more hit of you. 

What I've always said is true,

I am an addict through and through. 

Although, this time,

I am addicted to you.

CH 4/12/26