A Second Chance To Be The Light

Alive,

but,

just barely.

Holding on to fading dreams

As the body decays

I focus on the pain

Just to make sure

I am barely still here.

I am dangling out the window of a skyscraper,

holding on by a thin thread.

It’s slowly breaking,

slowly sending me to make friends with gravity,

and then eventually,

the pavement below.

A hijacked plane starts to head towards the tower.

I have the best view to watch it collide with me

and with the tower.

Then the thread breaks,

and I become one with gravity.

Falling from the building,

towards my inevitable death.

Visions flash before my eyes,

not my whole life,

like they like to say,

no,

these visions are of what I could’ve been,

if my fading dreams weren’t drowning underneath the wheel.

I see everything I could of been,

everything I should’ve been.

I see all my failed relationships,

all the women I could’ve loved.

I see the moments when fear held me back.

I see it so clearly,

all in a flash that feels like a lifetime.

I could’ve been a light

but instead

I was a dull glow,

like a candle right before it takes its last breath,

flickering,

gasping for breath,

fighting against the darkness.

As I am falling to my death,

moments before the lights go out forever,

I look up to the sun for the last time.

The giant glowing ball of life

splits into two.

I know I must be lost in my visions again.

I stare at the two suns,

wondering what this vision means,

when the second sun starts heading right at me!

I hear the plane approaching,

I hear the people screaming,

I hear the wind in my ears,

as gravity does to me,

what it did the apple

that fell on Newton’s head.

All the while,

the second sun keeps coming at me!

The light gets brighter and brighter,

the heat is almost unbearable,

I am trapped in a ray of light!

I close my eyes as the sun meets my flesh,

waiting for death.

Before I can hit the street,

the light from the second sun absorbs me

and plops me down in a field outside the city.

I sit there on my ass,

dumbfounded.

I reach down to earth

and my hands feel grass.

I feel the warmth from the sun on my cheeks

and the wind gently blowing through my hair.

I take a breath and look up to the sky.

I see the one sun,

the glowing ball of life,

that has always been there.

The second one was gone.

Had I imagined it??

What the hell had happened??

I try to make sense of it all

as I sit there in the grass.

It’s unexplainable!

Has someone drugged me??

Was I still me?

I didn’t know.

I took another breath

and tried to stop thinking

and start feeling.

The sun

The grass

The wind

The birds chirping

all feel new to me,

like I never had felt them before.

I slowly stand up

and I realize that

For the first time

in years,

I feel

alive,

truly alive.

-C.H.