This is truly for me,
not for you who read these words
This is my expression
This is my mind
You get to experience it
but,
it was not made for you
It was made just to be made
Because I like it
to write
to express
to try
See?
Nothing to do with you
Yet,
you’re here,
with me,
in this moment,
experiencing what I’m experiencing;
Art for the sake of art,
interpreted through your lens
How odd,
two consciousnesses,
intertwining
in brief moments of writing and reading
A connection
Hell,
maybe you are here,
with me,
in these moments
A participator in some sort of way,
and maybe,
I’m with you in the future,
as your eyes scan these letters,
and your brain puts them into words,
and words into sentences,
sentences into ideas, concepts and emotions.
Me,
you get to experience me.
Maybe more real than I will ever experience it
I will never get to read one of my writings
I’ll never experience my mind except from the inside
and that lens is distorted
Something like the ruler measuring the ruler,
but you get to see it through your own eyes,
with your own mind.
Maybe I’ll have passed when you read this
Maybe I’ll be old and fat
One thing's for sure though,
I will no longer be the person that I am as I write this.
You get to experience me right now.
who I am,
at this exact moment.
Clint Haugen,
October 27th,
9:20 PM,
in my kitchen,
with the piano playing through my ear buds
My belly full of wine
My bloodstream full of THC
My mind stuck on understanding what creativity is,
where it really comes from,
And on you,
the reader,
the future,
the other mind dancing with mine.
I wish I could ask you,
how does my mind dance?
Do you like it?
But,
then I remember,
these words weren’t intended for you.
They were meant to be the music we would dance to;
and you’d have to dance to it,
almost,
as an impulse.
The musician doesn’t compose thinking about how the listener will move their hips to his notes,
he just,
composes
for the sake of doing what he loves.
Maybe that's what writing is?
Maybe that’s what sharing a consciousness is about?
The impulses we cause;
the reactions.
We create
and you consume;
and somewhere,
in that,
is something special.
The dance between two minds.
-C.H.