"I'd rather see a million baby turtles get decapitated right in front of me, then use these damn paper straws!"
The local news reporter complained
to his coworker;
not realizing that he
He sucked at his coffee; his straw bent in the middle, preventing the $8 liquid from reaching his lips.
He threw it on the ground with the enthusiasm of a footballer spiking the football in the end zone.
Coffee splattered all over his pants.
"God Damn paper straws!!
"Fuck those turtles!"
The face of the camera man revealed to him that they were live on the air.