Conditional Love

Updated: Feb 10

‘Don’t you think love should be unconditional?’

she asked me as she played with her hair.


I took a sip from my drink

and leaned forward.


‘I don’t think that’s very realistic.

I think that’s the hollywood version of love;

the romantic idea.

I think love is constant work.

All of our relationships are constant work,

friendships,

family,

girlfriends

and

wives,

it’s all conditional.’


She stopped playing with her hair,

folded her arms

and tried to hide the look of disappointment on her face;

but I could see it clearly.

She said to me,

‘That’s a very unromantic way of looking at romance.’


‘Maybe it is’, I said and shrugged.

‘I think it’s the only rational way to look at love though.

I try to look at love as a whole.

Years of sustained love is hard-

it’s almost impossible!

It takes work to stay in love.

It takes constant effort.

It isn't a happily-ever-after.

It’s more about what happens when those initial sparks start to flicker out.’


She unfolded her arms,

took a sip of her wine

and said,

‘Well let me ask you then,

how many times have you been in love?’


I winced.

‘Well, I think 3 times…’

I looked away from her

and waited for her to pounce.


‘You think?? Don’t you know??’


‘I think I know what love is

but really,

I have no idea.

Maybe I will meet someone

and she will change my whole perspective on it…’


‘Hmmm okay,

well how long did you date those 3 women you fell in love for?’


I winced again.


‘Uhhh,

well that’s the thing,

I didn’t date any of them…’


I took a big drink of my whiskey.

I looked around as if looking for someone to help me.

She pounced again.


‘What?!

Oh my god!

You truly know nothing about love!

I thought poets were supposed to be romantic!?

You aren’t romantic

and you have no experience!’


She laughed a little too hysterically.


‘Yeah… I suppose you’re right…

maybe I do need some more love and romance in my life.’


I looked up and into her eyes.


She smiled at me,

clearly very pleased with herself

and said,


‘I think I’ll help you out with that.’


She leaned forward and kissed me.

It was a soft and slow kiss.

She had nice full lips

and for 5-6 seconds that our lips were touching,

It was electric;

A perfect kiss.


I pulled away.


She blushed and pushed her hair out of her face.


‘I still think love is conditional though!’

I blurted out.


She smiled her big smile

and said,

‘You’re impossible Chester.’


She leaned in for another kiss.

This one wasn’t as passionate as the first one a few seconds ago.

I hoped she would be the one to change my perspective.

but,

I could already tell,

the spark was flickering out.


It always does.


-C.H.

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