“A simple request”
she says,
“Speak to me in poem,
intrigue my mind with your words,
genuine and authentic,
for your words become actions,
are the framework of our relationship,
and have the power to entice me.
or the lack thereof—to disgust me.”
“Use caution:
for I am seeking respectful interactions;
for conscientious objectification;
for humble and psychologically driven kink.”
“This is based on mutual respect,
not solely desire.”
“This is built on trust, communication, and humility.
not solely attraction and power dynamics.”
And of course, I respond with,
“Aw, the genuine and authentic myth of the west; but what does it mean? Does truth naturally stir inside of our souls? Perhaps. But surely self-deception is the stronger stirring? Maybe it is two opposites, pushing and pulling on each other, in an infinite fight between the rationale and the illogical? What is the genuine self, I ask you, my dear lady? Who has it? And aren't we in a state of constant change? Doesn't that, in itself, prove the 'genuine and authentic self' to be a myth? Is there a 'through-line' in everyone - like a compass - that guides us towards our 'true selves'? I think not, babe. I think not. The oceans of life storm and rage during our lives, and we hardly sail straight. I suppose this is God they are talking about when they speak of 'truth' and 'authenticity' and 'genuine'. It has to be, doesn't it? What else can it be? If there is no meaning to life, then what's the point of being genuine? Well, him and I are constantly fighting, and I find him (or her) to be stubborn and unreliable, as well.
“They all say,
that they want to play the mind game,
but that is a game
that leaves too many of us insane,
so really,
only
few like to play;
and too many
like to watch.”
"When we stare into the abyss, we become the abyss." – Someone said that once.”
“Also, demanding my artistic side, and not understanding that I don't talk like that—or text like that—does sit well with me. I am not a puppet for amusement; I am a person, too. Do not objectify my artistic, and I won't objectify your body, deal? No? That’s not the game you wish to play? I know, dear. I know.”
“It is a wicked game we play, when one demands the mind, and the other, the body. A tragedy is brewing, my friend. And one always has more pull than the other. You list your demands and cautions, but where is my voice here, ma'am?! Where is my vote?? It's already a dictatorship, my sweet psychological Dom. What a game. How we play it is exciting, I will admit it . . . but still! I am more than a poet! I am also a hunger, and lips longing to love. It's a beautiful dance we dance, one of fire and ice. One of power and struggle. Always, babe. Always these games. Look at history! And read Billy Shakespeare! There is power in sex, and there is power in words. Combining the two, what a wicked game. How fun. Count me in.”
She responds with,
“That a simple request becomes demand in your mind does beg to question why you believe me a malicious mind game playing puppeteer.
Our ever changing self does not make being genuine and authentic a fallacy. It seems to me quite on the contrary. An admission of our imperfections, our naivety, our fears, despite these being at the whims of Poseidon's fury or grace, forces humility of our true selves. Our unpolished and raw selves are true. Kindness and love is our north. Is there no meaning to life or do we find meaning in life?
The god "they" are talking about is not a god I care to know, nor strike a fight with. god is a notion perpetuated to give purpose when in actuality that power has always been ours.
Speak to me however you wish, though regretfully I am a playful and artistic person, and the love I seek is deep, pure, and true. And genuine love is inherently tragic and there is no way around it. I believe your billy Shakespeare would agree.”
A few hours pass between replies.
“Is it a simple request, Little Dove, or an ultimatum? From the mind of the man behind the game, it feels like an ultimatum. You wouldn't entertain the poet, if he did not play by your rules. You establish dominance immediately - and such is the game. It is okay with me, but let's not pretend otherwise. I also appreciate honesty. Are your rules not demands? They seem like hard-lines. Boundaries are important, but they do create power dynamics, unfortunately. You create the rules here, Doll, and you'll walk away if I break them. It's never an equal game, and the person that is willing to walk away first has the power. The person who won't compromise is the one that has control. I will play your game, but it is your game—not mine.
"Our ever changing self does not make being genuine and authentic a fallacy. It seems to me quite on the contrary. An admission of our imperfections, our naivety, our fears, despite these being at the whims of Poseidon's fury or grace, forces humility of our true selves. Our unpolished and raw selves are true. Kindness and love is our north. Is there no meaning to life or do we find meaning in life?
“This is beautiful, but if only we were this forgiving and understanding of others; and didn't hold others to the perfection ideal that we have for them. We all have our own idea of what our 'genuine self' is. There is a reason why you have your rules, and that's because you have an idea of how others should be. And we aren't so kind to those that don't live by our rules. If we gave others the grace that you describe above, the world would be a much better place. But that is not the world we live in. We project our ideas of 'genuine' and 'authentic' onto others. We expect them to be a certain way. When people change, and leave us behind, we cry, "Why, my friend, do you leave me?" And we hardly ever celebrate their change. The authentic human, the genuine human, the truthful human, those are christian idea's that dominate our culture in the west. I like the eastern saying, "We can't step in the same river twice" and that's how I view people—forever changing. There is no 'true-self' unless we believe in a higher power within us, guiding us.
“The language you use is religious. The morals, and values, and ideals you seem to have, appear christian influenced. And that is only fair, - we are products of our environments - are we not? We teach kids how to behave in public school by quoting the bible. It is deeply rooted in our western culture. This God, that you don't want to fight, has already been fighting.
“Finding the meaning of life, and humans having the power of Gods, it sounds like existentialism. Is it? I believe the christian religion tells them that God will live within them, if they believe in him/her. It does teach them that they have all of the power to make this life free and beautiful. It's the idea that they can actually embody the non-violent and loving philosophy of Jesus. Any belief similar to this in the west is christian influenced - how could it not be? How can it be independent of it?
“I am a big fan of existentialism; so, I do agree with us choosing our meaning in life, but life will still challenge those meanings, and potentially, call us to adapt and create a new one. There is some force that pushes against us, and pulls us. Whether it's nature, God, or each other, we are constantly challenged by powers that are bigger than our own individual selves.
“Speak to me however you wish, though, regretfully, I am a playful and sexual person, and what I seek is light, fun, funny, and very normal. And desire is inherently tragic and there is no way around it. (that's Buddhism, I believe) Billy Shakespeare would agree that we are irrational people of passion, desire, and pleasure. The point of Romeo and Juliet is to show us that we do not know what's best for us. That we cannot trust our gut instincts. It shows us that we actually rage against the rationale. We are not to trust ourselves. Our 'genuine, authentic, true' voices in our head are full of lies and self-deception. I wish life was that simple, ma'am, I really do wish that - but it is not the world that I live in. That's not the life I live.
“I am not religious, although I am not dogmatic in my unbelief, either. I do think that a higher power exists in this world, and that religion, astrology, mythology, numerology, Scientism, etc, etc, are the misinterpretation of that higher power through our limited human lens.
“I really don't like the individualism trend in the west, and I think it comes from Christianity, and the idea that we have all the answers for ourselves within ourselves (the genuine self, the power of God being within us, and that we can actually know an individual objective truth about ourselves.)
“We only know ourselves through other people.”
This poor lady just wants a kinky poet, and I give her this. I am sorry, Little Dove, I am a mystery even to myself.
.
-C.H.