Today

Today

I don’t want to talk to anyone

Today

I want to drink alone

Today

I want to cry when and wherever,

without the judgemental eyes staring at me

Today

I want to write alone

Today

I don’t want a beautiful woman to lay naked in bed with

Today

I don’t want to fake it

Today

I don’t want to pretend to be happy

and I don’t want to talk about the grief either

Today

I don’t want to see her

Today

I want to be completely left alone

Today

I want to fall asleep,

drunk

Today

I don’t care about myself

Today

I want to listen to the piano

and sit in the sun

and try to forget about everything

Today

I am crying out for help

but no one is around to hear my cries

Today

I don’t really want to be alone

but I don’t know who I want to reach out to

I have the booze,

and weed,

to keep me company.

I have an empty house to go to tonight.

Today

The tears hit the keys more than my fingers do

Today

I will drive home drunk

Judge me if you want to

I don’t care anymore.

Today

The darkness wins

A man died last night

A good man

I should’ve been better to him

but i wasn’t

I am hardly ever better to the people that deserve it.

So leave me alone today,

and also,

please don't leave me alone.

-C.H.