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Today

Today

I don’t want to talk to anyone


Today

I want to drink alone


Today

I want to cry when and wherever,

without the judgemental eyes staring at me


Today

I want to write alone


Today

I don’t want a beautiful woman to lay naked in bed with


Today

I don’t want to fake it


Today

I don’t want to pretend to be happy

and I don’t want to talk about the grief either


Today

I don’t want to see her


Today

I want to be completely left alone


Today

I want to fall asleep,

drunk


Today

I don’t care about myself


Today

I want to listen to the piano

and sit in the sun

and try to forget about everything


Today

I am crying out for help

but no one is around to hear my cries


Today

I don’t really want to be alone

but I don’t know who I want to reach out to


I have the booze,

and weed,

to keep me company.


I have an empty house to go to tonight.


Today

The tears hit the keys more than my fingers do


Today

I will drive home drunk


Judge me if you want to

I don’t care anymore.


Today

The darkness wins


A man died last night

A good man


I should’ve been better to him

but i wasn’t


I am hardly ever better to the people that deserve it.


So leave me alone today,

and also,

please don't leave me alone.



-C.H.

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