This Character

I know this character has family members that talk about him, 

saying things like, 

“He’s going nowhere fast. 

He’s got his head so far up his ass. 

He is too old to be this selfish. 

Why does he pretend to be so helpless?”

And I know this character has friends that talk about him,

saying things like,

“He’s a broke loser.

He has been chasing his pipedreams for way too long.

Him? He's Captain Cringe.

He’s a walking red flag.

He’s the biggest fuck boy around here.

He’s too arrogant, and what for? it’s not like he’s accomplished anything?”

And this character, his coaches say things like,

“He has such wasted potential.

He could’ve been great if he was dedicated.

Yeah, he’s good, but he doesn’t have what it takes.

He’s too fragile, and so is his ego.

Where’s he been? Drinking beer and chasing women? He sure as shit hasn’t been in the gym.”

And I know that this character has a bunch of women in his town that are saying things like,

“He’s an asshole.

He’s argumentative.

He can’t be wrong.

He’s insensitive.

He’s a player.

He doesn’t put in the effort.

He’s a good kisser, but average in bed.

He seemed okay, but then I found out that he is a scorpio.”

And I know that this character has a therapist that tells him things like,

“He uses drugs and alcohol to self-medicate.

He never got over his childhood.

He is afraid of intimacy.

He needs to integrate his shadow.

He has a micro-understanding of psychology and thinks he can diagnose and treat himself.

He thinks that he can do this life alone. . . But he can’t. . .”

And I know that this character has a voice inside of his head that says things like,

“It’s all true. . . everything that they say about me.

It has to be true, doesn’t it? I can’t be objective when evaluating ‘the self’. 

But I feel like I am better than what they say about me.

I feel like I haven’t wasted my potential yet. . .

I know that I can still love deeply.

I know that I am disagreeable, but I try to do it in a respectful way. 

I know that I can fly. . .

I know that I am working through my childhood issues.

I know that I can do this.

I know that most of them see me differently than I see myself.

But what can’t they see?

. . . What don’t they see?

. . . And. . . what can’t I see?”

What can't I see?

Yes, he is a very basic and cliche character.

I'll work on him some more.

CH 2/23/24