Tonight I am skipping training
To ‘recover’
It’s a rest night
No boxing
No Jiu-jitsu
No kickboxing
No wrestling
Instead
I am doing an entirely different type of fighting
One with myself and ideas
A fight with words and dreams
Pain is my opponent
And so is hope
And belief
I must capture them
Mold them and fold them
To express what they are
What they can be
I must dive deep
And pull from depths
Something new
Something creative
This is a fight
That won’t end tonight
No
This is a fight that is just getting started
Meaning and death
Grief and evil
Reality and consciousness
Nature and life
They are my opponents
And they beat me down
Until my legs go
Like a newborn calf
They are above my weight
And they fight better than I do
But still
I must press on
And endure
And pressure them
It’s calm in chaos
And always
Belief that I can do it
But they are grand
And I am tiny
Just a man
They are the gods
And me
Their pawn.
Have you ever seen a pawn take on a God?
Well buckle up.
Although…
I do know what shaking my fist at God will get me…
Oh well,
let's see how many times I can get up.
-C.H.
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