Letter's To The Big Guy's

Christmas doesn’t matter much when you’re alone.

It lost it’s magic a long time ago.

Now it's just a reminder of how alone some people really are.

While others are posing for pictures with their loved ones,

some of us are left alone,

with a drink,

and an empty house.

I wonder how much longer Christmas will be a thing for?

Soon,

it’ll probably be canceled.

They say it has too much ‘Christian’ in it.

I say,

let them sing

and eat their figgy pudding.

They aren’t hurting anyone.

Even if this holiday is a painful reminder of how alone the alone people are,

it shouldn’t be canceled.

I wrote two letters once,

one to the big guy in the red suit,

and one to the big guy in the sky.

I was 7.

I had a nightmare that I mixed up the letters,

Sent Santa’s to God

And God’s too Santa.

I was hysterical.

I cried to my mom.

She said,

“God will know.

God will fix it.”

“But how will Santa know??”

I replied.

I cried harder.

Then I stopped suddenly.

I had a realization,

the two letters were pretty much the same.

I thanked them for the things that they had already given me,

told them that I’d like to visit them some day,

and told them what I wanted from them.

Maybe it didn’t matter at all,

that the letters got mixed up?

Maybe Santa

and

God

had the same magical powers?

I asked my mom about this.

She didn’t really know what to say.

“God is the answer.

God is the way.

God knows all.

Have faith

and

believe in him.”

“What about Santa??”

I shouted.

“Believe in him too.

Now go to bed

or you’ll be put on his naughty list.”

I went to bed

but

I couldn’t sleep.

I lied there awake,

staring at the ceiling,

thinking about all the ways that God

and Santa was the same.

I wondered,

if you got put on God’s ‘Naughty List”,

did that mean that you were going to hell?

I closed my eyes,

folded my hands,

and prayed to God

and to Santa,

that I wasn’t on their ‘Naughty List.’

I didn’t like the idea of going to hell

or

of getting coal.