Practice

I believe in believing

I believe in doing

I believe in trying

I believe in getting back up again

I believe we are strong

I believe we can be anything

I believe our potential is limitless

I believe we that with our balls and our brain

we can change the world

I believe in seeing the best in people

I believe you have to embody the philosophy you believe in

I believe in that we can make miracles happen

I believe in faith and the objective

Why can’t I believe in both?

Kierkegaard?

Are you there?

Why can’t I have both?

Jesus?

Why can’t I believe in both faith and the rational?

Marcus Ariellius?

How did you do it??

How did you constantly resist temptation?

I know y’all told us how,

But still…

It’s easier to read

It’s easier to believe,

but it’s so hard to embody.

Virtue is its own reward?

How so?

Why doesn’t it feel like it?

How do you see the corruption

and not get angry?

How?

How do you try to teach them

and not get frustrated by ignorance?

Is doing what’s best for the soul,

also doing what’s best for society?

Sex and drugs are so fun,

is it really worth it,

to give them up?

Isn’t there something in pleasure that we can grow from?

Or is that my own wishful thinking?

Is there really nothing good about it?

Well,

Socrates,

is there?

Why are the devil’s tricks so subtle?

How can you be an atheist and live a moral life?

If there is no god, then is everything permissible?

Well Doskeski?

Yes yes yes,

I know,

You made your case

All the thinkers do

And that’s the problem

So many different ways

By so many great thinkers

Who’s right?

Who’s wrong?

Who am I to decide?

Only my own life depends on me deciding, doesn’t it?

Just my own morality is at stake.

Is it you Aristotle?

Were you the one to figure it out?

Or was it really Jesus?

Or maybe it was Marcus and his meditations?

Epictetus, the slave philospher, maybe your perspective is the better one?

Do I throw away Kant?

And Mr Hiddenger was a Nazi, toss him with the baby and his bath water?

I don’t know…

So many different ways to go,

and I have to choose.

Why can’t I have my Alchemy?

Huh, Mr Yung?

How did you see so much, Shakespeare?

It’s a jungle of thinkers,

with so many weeds to sort through.

and so many gems to pluck.

How can I embody one,

when I don’t know which one is right?

I can’t go with my gut,

he’s always hungry and horny.

I can’t go with just the rational

or just the mystical,

I want the hybrid of both,

Can’t I have it?

Is that my way?

Do I already believe in it?

And are all these questions just intellectual posturing?

Well, one question here is real,

how do you embody the philosophy you believe in?

How do you do that fully?

Oh….

Practice?

Obviously.

That’s how you get better at anything.

I write these,

I recognize these,

as I sit in a bar,

high on edible marijuana

and maybe on some mushrooms too.

I ask myself,

how far away am I from embodying what I claim to believe…?

Shit, that’s so much practice for me to do.

-C.H.