Never, Or Forever?
“Would you rather live never, or forever?”
“What kind of shit is that to ask?? You think about this stuff way too much, man. It cannot be good for you.”
“It feels good for me.”
“I don’t get it. Why not focus on the happier things in life?”
“Like?”
“I don’t know what makes you happy.”
“People like you taking a second out of their busy lives to reflect on questions like this, makes me happy.”
“Really, man? I don’t get you at all.”
“Will you do it? Will you answer my question?”
“. . . Alright. Just give me a second . . . oh, obviously, I’d live forever.”
“Huh. How curious.”
“It is?? What’s curious about it? Isn’t that what you’d choose??”
“I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought.”
“What the hell, dude?? You were giving me shit about not thinking about this stuff, and you haven’t even thought about it yourself?”
“I couldn’t decide in a few seconds, like you. I’d have to really think about it. And maybe even live with it for a while. This one is a doozy of a thought experiment.”
“. . . So, what you’re saying is that you aren’t going to answer it?”
“Maybe someday, I will.”
“This is some bullshit, dude. This is why we don’t set you up with Rachel’s friends anymore.”
“You don’t think women like intellectual thought experiments? That’s a bit sexist. I’ve found that women love this shit. They eat it up.”
“Then why are you still single?”
“I don’t fit in anywhere.”
“C’mon, man, that’s not true. You’ve always blazed your own trail, regardless of what anyone thought or said.”
“That’s exactly why I don’t fit. I can’t imagine fitting into a woman’s life like that . . .”
“This is a classic example of when overthinking things can be negative. You're in your head about it. You don’t need to fit into a woman’s life to date her. Your life becomes shared with her, not controlled or conformed.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Sure am.”
“We’ll see . . .”
“Hopefully. Have you been on any dates lately?”
“I just have sex these days.”
“Jesus, dude. Are you alright?”
“I can’t complain.”
“You sure?”
“I hate it when you double check like that. Like you don’t believe my first answer could be possible. It’s annoying.”
“I’m not apologizing for double checking on your mental health.”
“. . . Fair enough. I am doing well, though. Really.”
“Well, that’s good. Do you reflect on questions like the one you asked me a lot?”
“Sometimes.”
-C.H.