An ass-hole plays his music too loud,
as I try to write a poem out with my left hand
(This particular poem in fact)
I am very annoyed with this man
and his music.
Doesn’t he know how painfully slow and aggravating this process is!??
(As I am naturally right-handed)
His music goes on
and on.
I feel five years old again,
trying to write with ol Lefty.
When I was thirteen
I masterbated for the first time,
with Lefty.
I couldn’t tell you why,
just that it felt good
and that it felt natural.
16 years into the future
and I am still jerking off with Lefty
The right never felt smooth
The right never felt natural
The right was like a slow and bumpy ride,
that never took me to where I wanted to go.
That same slow and bumpy feeling
from trying to masterbate with the right,
is currently being felt,
as I try to write with the left.
So please forgive me if there are no pleasurable endings to this one…
It has taken me 20 minutes to write this much so far
A painful 20 minutes
but still,
I stick with it
For no reason at all
except
to see how far I’ll go.
The temptation to switch to the right
is almost unbearable.
I catch myself reaching to take the pen away from Lefty
out of impulse.
I look up and see
a blonde that looks like
her.
It’s funny how every blonde,
dressed in black,
looks like her now.
The five year old me,
who hated kindergarten,
is awake in me,
as I write these words.
He hated tracing all the letters
He could never stay on the line.
The thirteen year old me,
who was jerking-off nonstop,
is awake with me as I write these words.
(Although I am not currently masterbating)
And the blonde in the black is with me too.
The blonde that looks like her,
gets up,
and leaves.
The strangest feels sweeps over me,
an old familiar feeling,
something like,
symbolic deja vu,
and in more than one way,
all at once.
It’s time to stop this madness
of writing with my non-dominant hand!
It’s torture!
It’s a slow death!
It’s mastebating with your right hand!
It’s giving yourself blue balls!
I must give myself a break
and walk around in the sun
Searching for something
Searching for someone
but I am not sure of what or whom I am searching for
only that there is something missing
and I must go find it…
-C.H.
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