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It's Only Tuesday

All those mornings

I woke up

Excited I was about to see her

And all those little moments we had

In that coffee shop

Probably 30 of them

They didn’t mean fuck all in the end

Her coworkers forced me to ask her out

Because I was too much of a coward to do it myself

They saw all the little moments

Her and I had

That didn’t mean fuck all

I had wanted to ask her out

From the first time I met her

But instead

I made small talk

But it didn’t feel like small talk

It felt familiar

It felt like chemistry

It felt like home

But really

It didn’t mean fuck all

After a few dates

And $2,000 worth of coffee and pastries

She decides that we have more of a friendship connection

I don’t know what to say

But words come out




About how I am in a bad place right now

And how she deserves better anyway




That didn’t mean

Fuck all anyways

I want to tell her

That this just happened to me three days ago

With a woman I was having casual sex with

For the last four months

She said she developed feelings for me

And wanted commitment

Or to ‘rip the bandaid off’

I must’ve said I didn’t want to commit

Which sucks because

She was perfect

And the sex was incredible

But I don’t really remember saying it

That I didn’t want to commit

I think it was just implied

By the way I would stare off into the distance

Whenever she’d finish saying something

But I don’t tell the barista

About the casual sex

And the bandaid

I just play with my hat in my hands

Flipping it over and over again

For no reason at all

While I listen to her tell me all the ways we don’t fit

None of which

Actually make sense

Two woman

In three days

And it’s only Tuesday

Then there is the new roommate

And her boyfriend

Who may or may not be living here too

And she

May or may not be the reason for all this

I don’t fucking know anymore

But I have rocks in my stomach

Thinking that everything with her

Won’t mean

Fuck all

In the end.


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