Duct Tape And Will Power

It’s okay

If I am not loved

For deep down

I know

That I hardly love anyone

So why should I expect

Something

That I hardly give to anyone else?

It’s okay

If I am not loved by her

I know

Deep down

That she is poison

But even so

She is the only one

I want to give the little love I have too

But

It’s okay

I don’t need it

I don’t need her

She can have her pretend peace

I’ll just stay here

In pieces

It’s okay if you don’t love me

These words

Aren’t that lovable

And I am not sure

If words alone

Can provide the spark needed

For true love

So I won’t hold my breath

Waiting for love that might never come

It’s probably not okay

If I don’t love myself

In some sort of way

But this morning

When I looked in the mirror

I saw a man

Who I can still be proud of

I haven’t

Killed off everything inside yet

There’s still a fire somewhere

That holds me together

In pieces

Sure

But held together by duct tape and will power

I am doing

Just slightly better

Then my car is.

-C.H.