An Invitation From The Illuminati
Two women
On instagram
Messaged me today
Claiming to be psychics
And that they were drawn to me
And wanted to do
A 'reading' on me.
I sent the first lady a picture of my palm
And she responded with some bullshit
I bet you can guess how she sounded
Then I felt silly
For thinking
That some psychic on the internet
Could actually ‘read me’
She went on to say that I am cursed
And that if I want to receive my blessings
That we had to break the spell that was holding me back
I said,
‘No thanks.’
Then it happened again
And I told the new psychic that
But she went on
To tell me that the world needed my help
I needed to ‘join the fight for the advancement of the human species’
And she was ‘willing to guide me to enlightenment’
I said,
That I don’t think there is a trick to enlightenment
I think striving towards something like ‘enlightenment’
Is constant practice
While knowing
That we will never get there
Then,
A man sent me an invitation to join the illuminati
He said,
‘Based on the membership criterion of the Illuminati,
We find you are of great interest in possession of a good mastery of manual dexterity and academic proficiency. With this, we look at you as the class that will be the platform for which you stand to meet the wealthy people who can raise you to wealth, power, fame, and glory. I strongly recommend that you join us in the illuminati. Joining us you become wealthy and life the life you desire. Do you accept the offer?
I responded with,
‘Nah.’
And he said,
‘Alright.’
It was a weird day on the internet.
-C.H.